Humbled by the hope hunting me down
I cannot fathom life without it nor escape its impossibleness.
Im-a mess.
Im cruel and Im selfish.
I am vengful in my weakness
I cannot repent as far as the east is from the west.
Its not that I am discouraged at my inablity.
Its my want and desire to save the world myself that I am ashamed of.
Taking the attention away from where it belongs.
My heart is broken for entire nations..
as I serve communion, look-into-those-eyes, and say..
"Christ blood shed for you"
one set of eyes
at a time.
This. This is community.
Solomn and serious glares backmy way.
subtle tears
flashing pictures through my head
we called them
"child-traffickers"
"prostitutes"
"desperate"
"broken"
though they were one step closer the the cup
the little ones couldnt get enough
We say our churches are apathetic and sleeping
I wonder how the enemy is slowly
creeping
in.
Influencing us to be the
attackers to our oppressors and misrepresentors.
There is a choice between influence and obedience.
I refuse to cross those tracks
I will not be subdued into easy reaction
I will not attack others because they do not agree or understand
It hurts me more than being right.
It hurts me more than having the last word
It hurts me that though I have scared over the years
and spoke on trecherous eggshell conversation
in the shadow of judgment and unrest
brought on by others
that have misrepresented my God..
I cannot be like him in my humanity, in my very nature
though I can choose to overcome and endure
confident in the grace of hope and character
as he is my example
Peace like a lamb
it hunts me down like a lion
and tackles my heart like a gentle father
wrestling
with his kids.
* * * * * * *
Culture shock back home continues.
I wrote this thismorning. After having read and seen so many, so-many-many Christians be hateful towards their peers and fellow-believers. Not just one instance but many. Why? In this country more than any other I have personally experienced. Why? In our 'culture of indepence' pushing us to be 'right' all the time why do we give in to the temptation and aggravation? Sure defend yourself, be bold in what you believe... but speak the truth in love.
Those that attack non-believers: Christians; I feel like we are so often wasting our time with people that really could care less with what we believe and actually agueing with them (I myself have stumbed into this),.. and instead of respecting their stories, valuing them as individuals, seeing them in their potential despite their short-comings we would perfer to call 'sin'. Yes, sin is sin. All of us seem to have a different gauge of that anymore, and that gives us oppertunity to learn from those that we dont agree with theologically. I have met, and know soo many grace filled, gentle, kind, servant-hearted, and non-judgmental people --that do not believe in Christ as their Lord and Savior. Often they have said in front of me "Steph is one of the first christians that I have met
that doesnt have a hidden agenda" or "I can be talk to her about my (non)beliefs because I know that she respects where I am coming from." But even as we build relationship with believers and non-believers alike and challenge our friends as they challenge us we still struggle with seeing them beyond their sin. Why? And dont even tell me that everyone but you is a Pharasee, dont let the enemy twist the words of the bible like he can so easily
For those that attack believers: First Christians that attack fellow Christians. Yes I understand that we need to discuss the issues that are going on around us and not be apathetic. What is the difference between aphathy, slander, gossip, anger, bitterness, malice, strife and awareness, truth, love, grace, forgiveness, understanding, long-suffering, affection, care, etc. The difference at its source is we need to ask ourselves about our attitudes. Ex: 'why am I talking about this right now, is it going to help this person grow in their faith, am I be Christ-like in my example?' More than that even, 'Am I showing this person that I value them as a human being first and formost?' I hope you understand what I am saying here. Ultimately we are misrepresenting Christ. We need to value people more than we value being 'right'. Again, I say 'we' because I know that in time of haste and reaction I have been here too.
Secondly, non-believers who attack christians. One can tell when a christian has a hidden agenda to selfishly convert 'another one'.. right? I agree; when one person is making another human being a 'project' its discusting. But I challenge you, Christians see the reverse of this too. I dont mean civilized theological discussion, I mean outright attacks on character and belief to possibly convince a 'reverse-conversion.' Underneath all our pride and selfishness we are people too. When you throw out sharp words we bleed too. I feel like people have forgotten this. Friends of mine know better of me. For me, its almost always total strangers (sometimes people that dont know me that well) that attack my beliefs. They say things like "christians are ignorant, bigots, neive, backwards, don't know whats really in the bible, their God is not real, they're dumb for believing he is, and must not be open-minded if they are not willing to change when facts a presented." Variaties of people at times mock the core of our beliefs which indirectly burns too, because for most of us core strings are attached to the heart. Some of you see what Im saying especially during this time of year.
Yes, as I have already acknowleged. Christians fail, we stumble, we fall, sin, lie, cheat, steal... we have been horrible examples. We have been horrible examples of Christ... though we are called to imatate him in our character. Many of us are close-minded, ignorant... etc. and history confirms it from the Crusades, to international slavery of Africans all over the globe, to every louder-than-life tele-evagelist, to that over-zealous uncle or preacher who outright misrepresented humanity -let alone his/her beliefs. I am sorry. Honestly, it hurts me alot to see my faith so sorely mis-represented... and I feel the burden of expectation all the more.
In finishing, I want to say that although I feel apologitic for the misrepresentation of my beliefs by me or others I am not ashamed or profess to know it all about God or the bible. I do admit that the hope that have had through my freedom to choose a unconditionally-loving relationship with God has inspired me to share. He didn't force his love, his word, or himself in anyway on me.. so by that example if you want to talk about it we can, if you don't we won't. If you disagree with what you think I believe, or see me messing up royally,.. lets sit down and have a coffee (only cause the internet is to impersonal). Caution- Im a little sensitive and a little passionate,.. so lets take it slow. 'Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.'
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Below: Don't knock it. This is a past student of mine so I am partial. I really miss teaching, and ministry in general... being effeciant at serving others.. not just doing 'whatever'.
Used by permission. By Sami Burke, 2009, Grade 7
For More Christian Art "Article 1" click here,
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